For the Sake of James
by M C Pehrson
Summary: Story #57 Following the murder of his wife and daughter, Spock is piecing his life back together when he is faced with a challenge to his parental rights.
1. Chapter 1

**Chapter 1**

Spock was grateful for the warning he had received from his brother-in-law, Laurence Fielding. In the dark period following Lauren and Teresa's murders, Spock deleted hundreds of phone and subspace messages without viewing them. Only now, months later, he was finally bringing himself to contact everyone whose calls he had previously ignored. Thanks to Father Fielding, he was not surprised by the hostile woman staring at him from the phone screen. But because his mother-in-law had always treated him so kindly, it was rather difficult to assimilate the change.

"Elizabeth," Spock began, choosing his words carefully, "I should have offered you my condolences long before now. Lauren was your daughter; Teresa, your granddaughter…"

"I know who they were," she broke in. "Unlike you, I went to their funeral, along with everyone else who gave a damn about them."

Spock had anticipated this. He thought it wise to agree with her. "It would have been better if I had gone, but madam, I assure you—"

"It would have been better," she said hotly, "if you had not endangered their lives—if you had not taken that disturbed young Vulcan into my daughter's home. It would have been better if—for once—you had thought of your family instead of that Yanashite cult that absorbs so much of your precious time."

Her words stirred the ache of regret that was still so very fresh. He faced Lauren's mother in guilty silence.

"Now," she said, "that you have suddenly remembered Teresa has a brother, what do you intend to do with him?"

The question startled Spock. "With James?"

"Lauren called him Jamie. Everyone calls him Jamie, but you. Can't you even show your son that much affection? But never mind—I suppose you're planning to leave him and hurry on back to Vulcan."

"As a matter of fact," Spock replied, "I am going to Vulcan soon. James…" He preferred that name, given in honor of his friend James Kirk. "My son will accompany me wherever I travel."

Elizabeth Fielding ended the call without any attempt at the usual courtesies.

oooo

Spock continued getting his affairs in order. Shortly after retrieving his sons from Kirk's ranch, he had sought out Earth's only Yanashite priest, Kero, for spiritual reconciliation. Next, he filed a claim on Lauren's life insurance that would secure Simon's remaining years at Juilliard.

Then it was time to consider the house. There was a sense of relief when financial necessity forced the decision to leave the rental where Lauren and Teresa lost their lives. T'Beth took what she wanted of Teresa's belongings. Other items in the house were sold, donated, or put in storage. The burro went to live among Jim Kirk's Appaloosas in Idaho. Those times when Spock returned to Earth or when Simon vacationed from school, they would stay in a small guesthouse T'Beth and Aaron were building behind their pool.

Now there remained only the question of James. These days, the boy wanted to follow Spock everywhere, and Spock took comfort in his son's presence. Together, they went to Vatican City seeking a dispensation that would allow James to receive the Yanashite sacraments while he was on Vulcan. Of course, even if James obtained authorization from Rome, Sorel must also give his permission, and Spock was not at all certain that he would.

Sorel had received Spock's subspace messages with some measure of warmth, but the Yanashite leader was clearly reaching the limits of his patience. Spock had long neglected his Community work, and on Mount Seleya he would face a private conference regarding his suitability as an administrator.

At the Papal audience, Augustine was very cordial and sympathetic to Spock's dilemma, but declined to grant James a dispensation.

"Nonetheless," the pope explained, "you may feel free to take you son with you to Vulcan, as long as you continue his Catholic education and keep an eye out for opportunities for him to practice his faith."

They both knew that on today's Vulcan such opportunities would be rare indeed. Catholic priests were among those non-citizens expelled in the backlash against Yanashite beliefs.

Disappointed but unsurprised, Spock took James on a tour of Rome before returning to Arizona. They were walking among the ancient ruins of Palatine Hill when he first noticed how quiet the boy had become.

"Tired?" Spock asked him.

For a moment James stood silent in the warm Italian sun, one hand toying with something hidden in his suit pocket. Then, with downcast eyes he said, "It's too much trouble, isn't it?"

"Too much trouble?"

"For me to go with you."

Spock put his hands on the boy's shoulders and when James looked up at him, Spock was struck, as always, by the powerful resemblance between them. It was like seeing himself at age ten.

Firmly Spock said, "You will go. In life there are always difficulties, but we will surmount them—together."

Tears welled in James' eyes. He brought his hand out of his pocket. His palm cradled the white beads of Teresa's First Communion rosary, and the sight sent a fresh stab of grief through Spock's heart.

James struggled to get out the words. "Resa wanted to come to Rome that day. If she had left instead of me…" Tears spilled down his face, and he wiped at them. "She'd still be alive, and maybe…maybe I could have saved Mom."

Spock drew James away from the curious gaze of tourists. Aching, he took the boy into his arms and tried to console him. "It was not meant to be. God oversees these matters, not us…and even if we don't always understand, we can trust Him."

"Sometimes…I was so mean to Resa." James looked up and his shame was evident. "Father, I never told you. That story I wrote for her at Christmas…it was something I did at the last minute. The real story was horrible. I killed her in it—there was even someone with a knife—just like the way it really happened. I killed her in it, and I laughed."

Spock held him close again. "It was only a story. Teresa knows you are sorry. She knows you love her."

Simon sobbed, "I miss my sister…and I miss my mom, too."

The anguished cry struck deep into the bonding center left tender by Lauren's death. Spock did not trust himself to speak. Inwardly he turned to the Shiav, and there came into his mind an image of the gardenias Lauren loved—pure white, fragrant, their fragile beauty perfect for such a short time. So it had been with Lauren herself, and Teresa, taken by death in full flower. Their brief, sweet lives had served their purpose. For the sake of Spock's remaining family, for the sake of Yanash, he knew that he must move on. But each day brought its own share of struggles.

oooo

Early the next morning, a call came from the Vatican. When James awoke, Spock had good news for him. A priest with the proper qualifications had been found, and his superiors were willing for him to go to Vulcan. Although Joseph Taguma was of African descent, he also held Vulcan citizenship and spoke the First Language fluently. As a child, he had been orphaned while on Vulcan, and was adopted by the family that employed his father. Later, he had returned to Earth and become a Benedictine monk.

On hearing the news, James smiled.

Now Spock felt free to make the final arrangements for their journey.

On the eve of their departure, they stayed with T'Beth at her home in Scottsdale. It was late September and the temperature hovered at 112 degrees. After swimming, the children came indoors to change, and everyone went down to the basement where Aaron was adding a new section to his elaborate model train layout. It was a hobby James and Bethany also enjoyed, especially when Aaron allowed them to operate the controls that sent little antique locomotives racing over the tracks.

They were still in the basement when the front doorbell rang. T'Beth left to answer it, and in a short time called from the top of the stairs. "Father…it's for you!"

Curious, Spock went upstairs. T'Beth accompanied him to the door, where a man in casual clothes was waiting.

At the sight of Spock, the fellow smiled in a friendly manner, and stumbling over the family name said, "Spock S'chn T'gai?"

"Yes," Spock replied, quite certain that he did not know the man.

Still smiling, the stranger handed over a thick manila envelope. "You've been served," he said and quickly walked away.

T'Beth stared, wide-eyed. "A process server! What do you think it can be?"

Spock was in no hurry to open the envelope and find out. His mind raced through a dozen possibilities, none of which could be supported by logic. Finally, he broke the seal.

T'Beth laughed nervously. "Maybe it's something good—some long lost relative has left you a fortune."

Spock pulled out a sheath of papers and scanned the legal language. The shock struck him like a full-size locomotive, and he sucked in his breath.

"What is it?" T'Beth sounded worried, and there was reason to be concerned.

The words caught in his throat. "Elizabeth Fielding is suing me…for custody of James."

A moment later T'Beth had him in the study and she was settled in front of a phone screen.

Spock sat with the papers in hand, thinking. It was Elizabeth Fielding who had the fortune, not him. Through Sanger Industries, she had a virtually limitless fund of money at her disposal. She would hire the finest attorneys available while T'Beth rang up Yong Po, barely out of law school, with holes in his shoes.

Spock had a sinking feeling that no matter what T'Beth or anyone did, he was going to lose his son. And perhaps he deserved to lose James for the way he neglected him after the murders.

"Here." T'Beth turned the phone screen toward Spock. "Talk to him."

Po no longer looked like a skinny adolescent. His voice had deepened and he had matured considerably since Spock's last conversation with T'Beth's Chinese friend. The young man seemed intelligent and confident. He assured Spock that he could easily obtain continuances until it was more convenient for Spock to appear in court. With the starliner departing for Vulcan at nine in the morning, Spock saw little choice but to send Po the packet of papers along with a suitable retainer. It would do for a start.

Spock was touched by T'Beth's ready assistance. Realizing how deeply he would miss his only remaining daughter, he met the concern in her hazel eyes and thanked her.

"No one is taking Jamie," she promised, as if the outcome of the lawsuit was somehow in her control.

He said, "I would rather you not tell Simon just yet, and we should certainly not worry James."

She frowned. "Why not Simon?"

"He has moved to a dorm at Julliard, but still sees his grandmother regularly. I see no reason to damage their relationship. Perhaps this dispute can be resolved in some amicable manner."

The door burst open and in ran Bethany, her cheeks flushed with excitement. "Mommy, Mommy, come see!" She stopped and giggled. "Daddy has a new locomotor and it's called the Galloping Goose!"

Spock chose that moment to excuse himself, and flew his skimmer out to St. Francis Cemetery. It was his first visit to Lauren and Teresa's gravesite, and when he arrived at the double headstone, he was glad that he had come alone. For a long time he stood, head bowed, on the grassy spot where their bodies lay buried. His lips were still, but in his heart he spoke to them, all the while wondering if the pain of their absence would ever lift.

Suddenly he seemed to sense their presence, as if they were standing off to his left, watching him. He glanced up. Heat waves shimmered in empty air. Collecting himself, he returned to the skimmer.

oooo

Father Joseph Taguma was a placid, good-natured man whose teeth shone brightly against his brown skin each time he smiled. He had quite sensibly exchanged his dark Benedictine robe for one of white. For the sake of Taguma and James, Spock was glad they were arriving at Mount Seleya in Vulcan's cool season. The temperature would be very similar to the Arizona heat back on Earth. As the Vulcan seasons turned, they would have time to acclimate. Spock was certain that James would adjust. The boy had always tolerated hot weather at least as well as Simon. Just now, James was gaping at the Seleya crowds as he tagged along. Spock's progress was slowed by greetings from Yanashite pilgrims who recognized him even in his human traveling clothes. At last he broke away, and toting their luggage, the three of them headed up the stone stairway to the priests' compound, which also housed the staff.

They emerged in the courtyard, where a breeze carried the damp scent of the geyser on the ledge below. Here all was quiet, but Spock heard distant chanting in the temple. Eridani hung low in the red Vulcan sky. Remembering the daily schedule, he knew that the resident priests would soon be returning to their quarters in preparation for the evening meal. The encounter with Sorel was fast approaching.

"This way," he said, and they brought their luggage to his tiny room.

Spock had warned James and Taguma that conditions here would be primitive, but the boy's eyes widened at the sight of the stone-hewn walls, the high narrow window slit, and the Spartan sleeping cots.

"Gosh," he said and fell silent.

Father Taguma's deep laughter rumbled. "This is delightful! As rough as my novitiate in Zimbabwe!"

Spock gave them directions to the communal lavatory and excused himself. Alone, he walked the narrow spit of land that led from the courtyard to the temple. Inside, fragrant incense drifted through the shadows. The sense of God's presence was strong and comforting. Settling onto a bench near the entrance, he joined in the chanting.

The evening prayer ended. As the congregation dispersed, Spock remained as he was until his uncle and aunt spotted him. Sparn and T'Prinka had known he was coming and traveled from Baruk for a visit. He rose to receive their embrace in a warm reunion.

Then, last of all, came Sorel. The encounter was not as awkward as Spock had anticipated. The dark eyes of the Yanashite leader were free of reproach; his whole demeanor radiated only kindness and understanding. No doubt there would be a full accounting, but later for that.

As Sorel's arms went around him, Spock knew that all would be well.

oooo

They had been at Seleya for several days and Spock's future role on Vulcan was still under consideration. In his long absence, his assistant administrator had performed so efficiently that Sorel was inclined to keep him. Meanwhile, Spock served as a relief worker, functioning in a different role each day. As an adjunct member of the Seleyan staff, he retained his room and took his daily meals in the priests' compound.

One such evening, James gazed down the long dining table and said, "Who's that nice lady?"

"Which lady?" Spock asked.

James knew better than to point. "Her," he said, looking again. "The pretty one…with the red hair."

Father Taguma spoke up. "I've noticed her, too. She speaks Standard as well as a human. And that hair…"

Spock drew in a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Her name is T'Naisa and she is half human."

"Really!" James said, his eyes back on her.

"It is impolite to stare," Spock reminded him. He would have liked to know why James called her "nice", but to ask such a question might infer that he did not think she was nice, and lead to more questions. As it turned out, James volunteered the information.

"Whenever she sees me, she stops to talk."

"On what subject?" It seemed a safe enough inquiry.

"She said that she's known Simon since he was twelve." The boy's face grew somber. "She said that she's sorry about Mom and Teresa. She said she met Mom once, a long time ago, in Pashir. That's somewhere here on Vulcan."

Spock firmly steered the conversation to Taguma's search for other Catholics living on Vulcan, but T'Naisa remained uppermost in his thoughts. Since returning to Mount Seleya, there was an unpleasant duty he had not yet performed, and perhaps James had shown him a way to facilitate it.

Later that evening, Spock ventured into the women's section of the compound and tapped on the door of T'Naisa's room. Her face lit at the sight of him, and he accepted her invitation to enter, leaving the door ajar.

"Sit down," she said, indicating a stone bench upon which she had placed a long floral cushion.

He remained standing. Stiffly he said, "I behaved inconsiderately when you came to my home in Arizona. I…even threatened you. And for that, I apologize."

A sad smile stirred her lips. "I can see how terribly hard this is for you. But you mustn't say it unless you mean it—otherwise, it's not worth anything."

Spock wrestled with his emotions. He could not deny a lingering anger toward the halfling. He found her blunt, forward manner abrasive. "I do mean it," he said. "However, it has come to my attention that you have been speaking to my son James."

"Is that not allowed?" she asked with a maddening touch of amusement.

"The fact that you spoke to him does not concern me. It is the subject matter. Must you remind the boy of his loss?"

T'Naisa's face grew serious. "So that's it," she said softly. "Spock, it's good for him to talk about it. Don't you know that? It's good for anyone who's grieving."

He watched her as she removed a framed portrait from a niche in the wall. Spock recognized her father.

T'Naisa held the picture in her hands and gazed at it. "He died," she said, "while you were on Earth. I've never been very close to my Vulcan mother. I was always _his_ kid. Daddy's girl. In his eyes, I could do no wrong. And now he's gone…"

"I did not realize," Spock told her.

Dashing a tear from her eye, she set the picture back in place. Then she said, "James looks just like you. What was Teresa like? I never saw her."

The thought of his murdered daughter was wrenching. "She was…the image of her mother," he managed to say, and then he turned and went out the door.

oooo

When Spock last lived on Vulcan, laws had limited proselytizing to Mount Seleya. Since then a major legal breakthrough had allowed the religious use of private property already owned by members of the Community. Priests and teachers of the Way regularly traveled the circuit of small temples that were springing up throughout the world.

Spock had been at Seleya nearly a month when he received the assignment. He would be traveling with a fellow Yanashite who gave popular lectures. T'Naisa Brandt.

Upon hearing the news, Spock held back his objections, knowing they would sound petty and arrogant. Accepting the decision as from the hands of Yanash, he left James in the care of Father Taguma and set out. Over the course of fourteen days, they visited twelve locations, often traveling by transporter to save time. With such a busy schedule, there was sometimes little opportunity for rest, but the work proved very rewarding and Spock had to admit that T'Naisa teamed well with him.

If Sorel meant for her to keep an eye on Spock, she showed the utmost discretion. In those few moments they had to themselves, she was very gracious and said nothing further to stir up painful memories.

As they were preparing to transport home, T'Naisa turned to him and said, as if it surprised her, "I _enjoyed_ that—I really did. Spock, I'll be perfectly honest with you. When Sorel told me that I'd be your partner, I tried my best to talk him out of it. I thought you wouldn't like having me along, but you've been very polite." Her mouth twitched with a mischievous smile. "Why, you haven't even commented on my appetite…" She raised a half-eaten piece of fruit she was holding. "Or knocked any food out of my hand, like you did in Phoenix."

Spock had a fleeting urge to do just that. For an instant her dark eyes seemed to dare him. Then he came to himself.

James was waiting near the transporter platform when they returned to Seleya. Smiling broadly, the boy rushed forward and hugged Spock tightly.

"Guess what?" he said in a rush. I've been going to school with the other kids." He backed up and proudly displayed a device hanging from his neck. "See? They've loaned me a universal translator. Now I can understand everything."

Up to this point, Spock had designed a learning center tutorial for the boy's use, just as he did with Simon. It had not occurred to him that James might prefer a classroom setting.

"Indeed," Spock said. "I assume this was Father Taguma's idea?"

James smiled as his gaze settled warmly on T'Naisa. "No, it was hers. She mentioned it before she left…and she said you could teach me Vulcan through a meld, just like you did with Mom and Simon."

With a twinge of displeasure, Spock turned to the halfling.

She blushed and stammered. "Oh, Jamie…I only noticed that you weren't going to school with the other children. I didn't mean to interfere with your father's plans for you."

The boy's face fell. "But isn't it alright? Please, Father?"

Spock's mind remained focused on the halfling's words. _Jaimie,_ she had said. His mother had called him by that endearment and he did not like T'Naisa using it.

Holding in his annoyance, he looked at his son. "It is perfectly alright, but you will still need tutoring in subjects relating to Earth."

James' smile returned and he studied the translator pendant.

As they walked off together, Spock leaned toward T'Naisa and spoke in a voice meant only for her ears. "His name is _James."_

oooo

By the end of the week, James no longer seemed very happy. Spock wondered if he had changed his mind about school, or disliked his daily work assignment, or perhaps was just missing his slain mother and sister. Lauren and Teresa were never far from Spock's thoughts. Though he attempted to keep busy, grief would still overtake him suddenly—triggered by something as inconsequential as a sound or a scent. At times he still seemed to hear their voices, and at night they entered his dreams regularly.

Meditative prayer kept him going, and it was a practice he encouraged in his son. They had brought with them Lauren's chipped statues of Jesus and Mary, along with her votive light. James kept a candle burning, and when Father Taguma was on Seleya, the two of them prayed the rosary daily. Just now, the priest was off visiting one of the Catholic families he had located. Spock and James were together in their room as night settled over the mountain. James sat working on a school assignment, but suddenly he set his datapadd aside and flopping back on his bunk, stared morosely at the stone ceiling.

Spock looked up from the paper journal in which he inscripted daily entries. "James. What is wrong?"

Surprisingly the boy replied, "I don't think T'Naisa likes me anymore."

Not for the first time, Spock wondered why James showed such a persistent interest in the halfling. One possibility was her attractive appearance. At ten, the boy was old enough to take notice of the opposite sex. However, Spock thought that another reason was more likely. T'Naisa was as emotional as a full-blooded human. She liberally showered James with warmth and attention, which any motherless child would crave. More and more Spock feared that she would completely displace Lauren in the boy's affection.

All this he considered before asking, "Why do you think T'Naisa does not like you?"

"Because she doesn't call me Jamie anymore." His face contorted, and rolling over, he hid in his pillow.

Spock felt torn between his son's anguish and the desire to preserve the boy's love for his mother. This display of sorrow was not a good sign, coming as it did when James had begun to regain his form lively personality. Now Spock realized how great a part T'Naisa had played in his recovery. She was the one who had helped James rise from his grief. And just now, only T'Naisa could comfort him.

For the sake of his son, Spock set aside his misgivings and went for her.

T'Naisa opened her door and her face grew strangely sad at the sight of him. "Spock," she said, then hesitated. "I…was hoping to speak to you."

Inside her room, Spock told her plainly of the trouble with James. "I was in error," he admitted. "Like it or not, my son has become very attached to you. Will you speak to him?"

With that same sad expression, she left immediately for Spock's room. There, she took James into her arms while Spock looked on.

"Oh, Jamie," she said, "I'm sorry. You see, I thought…that since Jamie was a special family name, maybe I shouldn't use it. But your father says it's fine and I'm so glad. I'd never do anything to hurt you."

With pain twisting in his heart, Spock turned and walked out of the room. He was standing in the torch-lit courtyard when T'Naisa came up beside him.

"Thank you," he said without looking at her. "It was kind of you not to reveal my part in this."

"I'm sure you meant well," she said. Then, "Spock, I've heard some disturbing news. Is Jamie's grandmother really trying to take him away from you?"

Startled, Spock turned on her. "You did not tell James!"

"Not a word. Why, doesn't he know? If not, that's bound to change now. It's just hit the Federation news services. And Spock, they're reporting some pretty negative allegations about you."

oooo

The next morning, James was upset to discover that his universal translator was missing. Again and again he tore through his belongings and came up empty-handed.

"But it was right there," he insisted, pointing to the ledge holding the statues and candle. "Honest, Father, I didn't lose it."

"I believe you," Spock told him, for while James slept, he had removed the translator as a precaution against any loose Vulcan talk the boy might overhear. "I am sure we will find it. Meanwhile, go to your tutorial program in the learning center."

"Can you teach me Vulcan now?" James asked hopefully.

"When my schedule permits," Spock said in a vague manner.

Just then someone knocked on their door and Spock was summoned to appear before Sorel.

The leader's face was grave as he recounted the Federation news report. "I find it surprising that you withheld such information from me. This threatens to become yet another scandal for the Community. Young Sobek's name is back in the news. A potential convert slayed the wife and daughter of a Yanashite. Now it is questioned whether that Yanashite is fit to raise his own son."

"I considered it a private matter," Spock replied. "And until now, it was. For the sake of my son, I beg discretion. There is no need for him to know of the situation just yet. The court date is still months away."

Sorel nodded. "It is, at heart, a private legal matter. In the name of Vulcan privacy, I will request silence throughout the Community."

Spock thanked the leader and later that same day received a subspace message from his young attorney. It was reassuring to learn that Yong Po had enlisted the help of his more experienced associates, but a message from Simon was highly disturbing.

The teenager's face was taut with anger. He had learned of the lawsuit and confronted his grandmother. With his usual attention to detail, he recited the accusations she had put forth.

"Father, she's not only hired a pack of lawyers, she has detectives on the job, too. She seems to have uncovered your every move, even back before you came to Arizona. These are the main points of her case. You endangered the family by living right on the coast when the earth changes were already underway. You took Sobek into our home without proper consideration, and left Mom and Teresa alone with him. After the murders you neglected Jamie. You journeyed with a convicted felon into the evacuation zone, in violation of the emergency mandate. That makes you a lawbreaker. By taking Jamie to Vulcan, you're depriving him of family, friends, and the comfort of his home planet. According to her, life on Mount Seleya isn't safe, either. Jamie is living in quarters that have previously collapsed during an earthquake, causing fatalities. And she even knows that you and I were kidnapped on Vulcan and that I was left to die in the desert. She says that you've always neglected the family by long absences and by taking unnecessary risks. Last of all, and I think this is the lowest: sorry Father, but she said that your early Vulcan training has made you incapable of giving Jamie the affection he needs."

Numbly Spock forwarded Simon's message to his attorney. Then he sat staring at the blank screen for a long while.


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter 2**

Belaar came. The heat of Vulcan's torrid summer descended upon the mountain, but Spock was no longer there. To counter at least one of Elizabeth Fielding's arguments, Spock had requested a position at the newly opened Baruk Temple School, where he now shared administrative and teaching duties with his uncle, Sparn.

The last scorching rays of Eridani struck Spock as he emerged from the temple. Alone, he paused just outside the door and gazed upon the thick-walled buildings that had overtaken his grandfather's orchard. The complex was well-constructed from thick stone and the bubbly red glass for which Vulcan was famous. A modern cooling system made it possible to conduct classes even on days like this, when the sand was hot enough to blister a Vulcan's feet. Here, Father Taguma enjoyed the comfort of his own small room, and there was plenty of space in Spock's quarters for his son.

Although James missed T'Naisa, he seemed to enjoy life at Baruk. The two of them communicated often, and she made it a point to stop by and visit him whenever her travels brought her to the area. The boy's continuing affection for T'Naisa did not bother Spock as deeply as before. He was coming to see that there was room in James' heart for both T'Naisa and his deceased mother. Giving in to his son's request, he had recently taught James the Vulcan language in a series of melds. Now James could attend class with the other students, but it was only a matter of time before he heard about the custody suit.

Spock went into the dining hall and found James already seated near Sparn and T'Prinka. James greeted him with a smile so joyous that it could only mean one thing.

"Guess what?" James burst out.

Spock scarcely needed to consider. "T'Naisa is coming?"

James laughed. "You knew!"

"I knew by the look on your face. You are always happiest when she is here."

oooo

T'Naisa arrived when Simon was in class. While her traveling companion toured the complex, she came to see Spock in the school office. He had just reviewed a disturbing message from his attorney, and T'Naisa noticed his preoccupation the moment she walked in.

"Custody issues?" she surmised with a woman's intuition.

Spock gave voice to his frustration. "My lawyer is advising me to marry. He believes it would greatly improve my position."

Her eyes widened and she sank into the chair nearest his desk. "Will you?"

Spock cast her an incredulous look. Had she no understanding? At times it seemed to him as if his wife had only just died. His need for Lauren was still sharp, the sense of loss very painful, but that was too personal a matter to discuss with anyone, least of all T'Naisa.

He simply said, "I have no desire to marry…and even if I so chose, there is no one who even remotely interests me."

"Well," T'Naisa informed him, "there are plenty of women interested in you. Haven't you noticed? On Seleya and when we traveled the circuit?"

"Indeed I have not," Spock replied with some asperity. "I suspect you only imagined it. You always were prone to dramatize."

She fell silent and appeared to be thinking. "Still," she said at last, "there's no reason you _couldn't_ marry…for Jamie's sake."

He stared at her. "Have you heard nothing I said?"

"I didn't mean—" She broke off, blushing to the roots of her red hair. "I only meant some sort of civil marriage, just a legal certificate…"

"Without vows?"

"Oh, there are all kinds of vows. You could just make some vague pledge of fidelity…to the endeavor…to Jamie's welfare."

Spock found that he had actually been listening, as if T'Naisa's preposterous idea held some merit. "That sounds rather deceitful."

Her eyes sparkling, she leaned forward. "It sounds _clever,_ you mean. Spock, it's not a sin to use your brain."

"Within moral boundaries."

"I don't see anything wrong with a friendly little agreement."

"Marriage," he declared, "is something more than a 'friendly little agreement'."

She sank back in her chair and laughed. "Listen to yourself. How grim you make it sound. Why, it could be fun!"

"Fun." Spock bit off the word. "And when the 'fun' ends, what then? A friendly little divorce?"

"Spock." T'Naisa looked into his eyes, and this time she did not blush. "An unconsummated marriage can be annulled."

Spock felt his own face warming in a most uncomfortable manner, and his gaze lowered to the desktop. Even his pulse was behaving strangely. Steepling his fingers, he considered T'Naisa's words in a silence so deep that he clearly heard her breathing. The proposition was distasteful to him. It seemed to border on the immoral. But if such a marriage…a marriage "in name only"…would help him retain custody of his son…

Somehow he sensed the answer to his question even before he framed it. "For the sake of argument, let us say that your idea has some merit. What woman would enter with me into such an unorthodox arrangement?"

Her lips stirred into a crooked smile. "I would be honored…for Jamie's sake…and for yours."

Though Spock had suspected as much, her suggestion still shocked him. A ready argument sprang into his mind. "Quite impossible. Have you forgotten your criminal record? Mrs. Fielding's detectives would uncover it in a minute and my situation would be even worse than before."

T'Naisa seemed undeterred by the fact. "But if…if it weren't for my record…would you consider it? For Jamie?"

Spock saw no harm in saying, "Perhaps then. For James. After all, he is quite fond of you."

T'Naisa grew very quiet. After a moment she sighed and spoke as if to herself. "Well, should I tell him or shouldn't I?" Then she shook off her indecision. Assuming a nonchalant attitude, she said, "As it so happens, I don't _have_ a criminal record."

A rapping on the door diverted Spock's attention from the outlandish statement. "Come in," he called.

James cracked the door open, spied T'Naisa, and promptly rushed into her arms.

"Hey, what's this?" she said, pretending to be stern. "Are you playing hooky?"

James laughed. "No, they're having religion class, so I go on Independent Study until lunch."

Using her fingers, T'Naisa brushed the dark straight hair off his forehead in a gesture painfully reminiscent of his mother. "Well, mister," she said, "don't you get _too_ independent."

As the boy laughed in delight, Spock gently interrupted. "James, please begin your studies. You may join us at lunch."

Reluctantly James left, saving his last parting glance for T'Naisa, who rewarded him with a conspiratorial wink.

The door closed.

"You never seem to grow weary of him," Spock observed.

T'Naisa turned his way. Her thick lashes were wet with unshed tears. "Weary of him?" she said softly. "Spock, you're so damn lucky. You see…I can never have children. It sometimes happens with hybrids. You know what a mule is?"

An upwelling of sympathy took Spock by surprise. In his youth he had been taunted by that word, and others. Suddenly his throat felt so tight that he was forced to clear it. Then firmly he asserted, "You are no mule."

"I may as well be," she replied. "Most men expect children when they marry. The sort of men who don't want to be bothered with children usually don't want to be bothered with marriage, either. I've found that out the hard way."

The mention of marriage returned Spock's thoughts to his legal difficulties. For a brief moment he had left his own pain behind, but now it returned in force. Collecting himself, he began, "You were saying…quite incredibly…that you have no criminal record."

T'Naisa seemed glad to move on. "That's right. While you were on Earth, I went through one of those Federation Fresh Start programs. I'd just finished when I came to visit you. My record has been expunged. It's as if it never happened. Even the media can't cover it, and if any lawyer dares mention my colorful past in court, it would create a mistrial." She paused. "I wanted to do what I could to fix things…for the good of my family…and for the Community. But maybe Yanash had something else in mind, too."

oooo

Slowly the Vulcan seasons turned, and the scorching winds began to subside. An occasional cloud appeared in the crimson sky. At Baruk, the gnarled limbs of the remaining orchard trees showed signs of fruiting.

On such a day Spock received word from his daughter T'Beth, back on Earth. Her baby had been born. He would be called by his father's middle name, Louis. Louis Pascal. James was thrilled to have a nephew and immediately wanted to know when they could go see him.

"Soon," Spock promised. "In May, Earth calendar." The month of the custody hearing, which could no longer be delayed.

As fate would have it, T'Naisa was present when he said it, and her eyes met his meaningfully.

Turning to James, she smiled and said, "A new baby! This calls for a party."

Rolling up her sleeves, she took James with her into the school kitchen and began making a cake. That she would include herself in a family celebration no longer seemed to strange—or offensive—to Spock. Deep in thought, he retreated into the cool, shadowy temple where peace always awaited him. There was much to consider. His lawyer had been, as Po put it, "building a respectable defense" for a decorated Starfleet hero with excellent character references. But Po was realistic. Elizabeth Fielding's high profile attorneys were skilled at "fighting dirty", making even the noblest motives appear selfish, twisting facts until even the truth was made to appear ugly.

Po continued to say it: "Remarry. Not some impassive Vulcan woman, but a woman with warmth, a woman who knows how to openly love a child. Marry her now. It's been a decent enough interval since Lauren's death. Marry her and it will knock some of the wind out of Mrs. Fielding's arguments."

And Po had also asked, "Is there anyone? Anyone at all?"

 _Yes,_ Spock's heart answered. _There is someone, and she lies buried beside our daughter in Arizona._

A year. Had it almost been a year?

In recent weeks he had mentioned the possibility of a mock marriage to T'Beth, expecting outraged disapproval. He had spoken to Simon, to Jim Kirk, to Sorel. In every case the reaction had been the same—grim expressions and the solemn acknowledgment that, for the welfare of a child, one does whatever one feels is necessary.

Spock thought back to the day Lauren and Teresa were slain. If he had known in advance, he would have done everything in his power to protect them. Now, in the case of James, he clearly saw the danger coming. It was a matter of logic. Gazing at the flickering red sanctuary lamp, he knew that he must act.

oooo

The cake was rich and spicy, covered in white creamy icing. Fully aware of how refined sugar affected his system, Spock took a large slice. It would be as effective as a shot of hard liquor. He had no concerns about James eating it; though the boy looked Vulcan, he metabolized like a human.

Finishing, Spock watched T'Naisa attack a second wedge of cake with her usual gusto. "Is that wise?" he asked.

She gave him a blank look, then laughed. "Oh, that. Sugar doesn't bother me. It never has. I better keep an eye on you, though. You're looking mighty relaxed."

James glanced at his father and smiled, his mouth very full. Swallowing, he said to T'Naisa, "My sister T'Beth has the same trouble. I'm glad I don't. It sure will be nice seeing her and the new baby. I wish you could come, too."

Spock leaned back in his chair until it tipped. It was well past the dinner hour and they sat alone in a corner of the dining hall. T'Naisa was correct. The cake was having its effect. Despite what lay ahead, he felt pleasantly warm and unconcerned. In fact, the situation was beginning to take on a humorous aspect.

"Perhaps," he said in a quiet voice, "T'Naisa _can_ come with us to Earth."

Suddenly they were both staring at him—James, wide-eyed with excitement, T'Naisa calm and questioning.

Drawing a deep breath, Spock told his son, "You see, we have a problem…but T'Naisa might be able to help us."

"What problem?" Simon asked.

All sense of amusement fled. Spock brought the chair's legs to the floor and sat up perfectly straight. "It seems that…since the funeral…your Grandmother Elizabeth has been lonely. Because of this, she wants you to come live with her."

James dropped his fork with a clatter. "Leave you? Leave here? But I don't want to live with her."

"It's not what I want, either, "Spock said plainly, and cast about for some way to reassure him without diluting the unpleasant facts. "I do not intend to give you up, and that means we will have to go into court, before a judge. Your grandmother has turned this into a legal matter."

James looked frightened. "A judge? A judge is going to decide?"

T'Naisa's pain-filled eyes settled on Spock expectantly. For a moment he did not know how to proceed, for he could not truthfully assure James that his grandmother would not gain custody. At last he said, "I wish this was not happening. I will try my best to convince the judge that you belong with me."

The celebration was spoiled. Looking forlorn, James came over to Spock and put an arm around his shoulders. Spock felt the boy's sorrow mingling with his own.

T'Naisa rose, and leaving them their privacy, walked over to a window. The simple act of discretion eased Spock's misgivings about her. Perhaps this idea of T'Naisa's would not be as distasteful as he anticipated. What did it matter how he felt? James loved her.

Taking a drink of water, he forced himself to speak. "James. You are fond of T'Naisa, aren't you?"

"Yes," the boy replied quietly.

Spock looked at T'Naisa, and seeing her back turned toward him, said, "Would you like her to be a member of our family?"

James withdrew his arm and met Spock's eyes. "What do you mean?"

"It might be advantageous," Spock said carefully, "if we brought T'Naisa with us to court…as my wife."

James had a quick mind and understood immediately. "So they'd see that I have a mother again?" He looked over at her. T'Naisa was just within earshot and turned around. She was openly watching them as he said, "But she's not Mom."

T'Naisa took the words without flinching, and Spock heard them with a profound sense of relief. No woman would ever replace Lauren in their lives.

Moving nearer, T'Naisa said, "Jamie, I love you, but I'd never pretend to be your mother. That's not what this is about."

James swung his attention back to Spock, his slanted brows drawn together in a frown. "Do you really want to marry her?"

Spock thought it best to evade the question. "Our arrangement would be solely one of legal convenience. You like T'Naisa. You would see her every day." With a stirring of embarrassment he added, "She would have her own room and you would continue to share mine."

The sleeping arrangements seemed to relieve some of James' concern, and Spock wondered if, after all, his son harbored some nascent romantic feeling toward her. The room was very silent as he awaited some word from the boy. Off in the distance came the mournful notes of a night flier.

Finally James said, very soberly, "So you think it would help…at court."

"Yes, it would likely help," Spock confirmed.

James looked at him with troubled eyes. "You're going to do it, aren't you? You're really going to marry her."

At this point Spock would have expected a more enthusiastic response. _Was James truly jealous?_ It would have been so easy to step away from the whole matter and go on as they had before, but that was not a viable option. Spock had examined the situation at great length. Without T'Naisa, he would almost certainly lose James.

With an inner sentiment more in keeping with a funeral than a marriage proposal, Spock met T'Naisa's steady gaze. "Yes, James. For your sake I am marrying her."

oooo

Spock privately marked the first anniversary of Lauren and Teresa's murder. The Vulcan calendar kept James from noticing, and for that Spock was grateful. Fifteen days had passed since James learned about the custody suit, and the boy had assumed a hopeful attitude toward it. As for the upcoming marriage, T'Naisa was showering James with such attention that he was taking to heart her frequent assurances that their peculiar arrangement would be "fun". When the day of the event arrived, he actually seemed to be enjoying himself.

To Spock, this wedding was so unlike his tender, ritualistic joining to Lauren that it seemed a furtive, sordid affair. He felt deeply ashamed as he arrived with James and T'Naisa in the faded tourist district of ShanaiKahr. Once, years ago, he had come here and purchased a toy for T'Beth. Since then, the area had suffered economically due to the taut restrictions placed upon tourism by the government. Few businesses remained open, and the once bustling walkways held little foot traffic.

Though Spock had dressed inconspicuously and T'Naisa hid her beauty beneath a hood, he hurried them along, avoiding eye contact with the few pedestrians they encountered. They reached the "Chapel of Bliss" where, for a sum of money, one could purchase a wide variety of weddings, all perfectly legal in the Federation. There was a less than subtle odor of illicit tobacco and sweat. Behind a counter, a large flabby human rose from a chair and ogled T'Naisa, who had pulled back her hood, leaving her pointed ears and fiery hair in full view.

Spock felt like striking him. Controlling himself, he said, "We spoke to you regarding a wedding…"

The man turned his beady eyes on Spock and smirked in an annoying manner. "Yes. Of course. S'chn T'gai. You aren't by any chance related to Ambassador Sarek…?" Spock glared at him. "Never mind, we're most discreet…and I'm sure you'll be…fully satisfied." His gaze slid over to T'Naisa and the smirk deepened.

All necessary documents were examined and credits transferred. The proprietor escorted them to a small holo-chamber featuring an Earthlike park setting and an arch of red roses. There he shrugged his bulk into a formal jacket, then consulted a data feed built into a dais.

"Let's see," he mumbled, "number eighteen, that's what you lovebirds wanted." His chubby finger pointed to a paving stone in the false grass beneath the archway. "Stand right there. Don't be shy. This won't hurt a bit."

Avoiding T'Naisa's eyes, Spock positioned himself beside her. He wondered if she, too, felt humiliated. He was tempted to cancel the whole affair until he glanced in the direction of James and saw to his surprise that the boy was not in the least bit upset. James stood with a hand tightly clamped over his mouth, choking back laughter.

The ceremony was mercifully brief, with vague vows of fidelity and consideration. There was no ring, for that would have symbolized an eternal commitment. There was no mention of any timeframe whatsoever.

The "duly appointed minister" pronounced them husband and wife. Then, even though Spock had warned him in advance not to say it, he declared, "You may kiss the bride."

Spock felt ill. Turning stiffly, he looked down at T'Naisa. The apology in her eyes told him that she did not expect it, yet it seemed that he owed her some small token of gratitude. He glanced at James, and the boy seemed to be enjoying his father's discomfiture.

Leaning over, Spock touched his lips to the soft red hair near T'Naisa temple.

An Earth-traditional wedding march abruptly blasted from unseen speakers, making him jump.

James laughed out loud.

As they were leaving, T'Naisa drew her hood into place and said, "I _told_ you it would be fun!"

oooo

Spock regretted the wedding immediately. While T'Naisa made light of their circumstances, levity was not part of his nature. Sorel had authorized the civil ceremony with the understanding that the union would never be consummated, yet Spock still felt as if he was sinning against the sanctity of marriage—and worse, betraying Lauren's memory.

T'Naisa moved to Baruk and they saw one another daily. Although she made no special claim on Spock's time or affections, and their status remained relatively private, living so near his "wife" made him uncomfortable.

James told Spock that he had confided in Father Taguma, who was his confessor. Whatever Taguma thought of the mock marriage, the priest kept silent and behaved in his usual friendly manner toward Spock and T'Naisa. Now Spock spoke openly to him about the custody hearing, and they decided that Taguma would travel with them to Earth and spend the interval with his fellow Benedictines.

The day of their departure drew near. James was becoming nervous about the court appearance, but T'Naisa always knew how to calm him. There was no denying that she was good for the boy. Spock clung to that thought as he began packing for the trip.

A week later they arrived in Scottsdale, Arizona. Despite past difficulties, T'Beth warmly welcomed T'Naisa. The outgoing halfling fit into the Pascal family with remarkable ease, scooping the new infant into her arms, splashing in the pool with James and Bethany, playing enthusiastically with Aaron's model train layout. To Spock, she seemed so free and childish that it embarrassed him. It was not long before T'Beth's perceptive eyes took note of the situation and she drew him aside for a private chat.

"Well," she said with a very innocent look, "how is your little bride working out?"

The question irked Spock, and it showed.

"Have I struck a nerve?" she asked, fully aware that she had struck it hard. "You don't like the poor thing, that's clear enough. Father, you shouldn't have married T'Naisa if you planned on treating her so coldly."

"We are _not_ married," Spock insisted, but quickly realized that the statement was not fully accurate. "Of course, there was a sort of ceremony…and a legally binding certificate…but there is nothing beyond that."

"Except for the way she loves Jamie…and you."

He gave her a scathing look. "Please! She loves James. Don't read anything more into our arrangement. It is quite difficult enough."

She shook her head, as if in amazement. "Father, are you blind…or just in denial? T'Naisa has always loved you. Why do you think she loves Jamie so much?"

Spock left the room. T'Beth's assertion was intolerable. If T'Naisa still harbored any infatuation toward him, their celibate marriage would torment her, for she had a very ardent nature. No. T'Naisa showed no signs of torment. She had no more interest in consummating their union, than him. Still, she had entered this unconventional marriage expecting a degree of kindness. T'Beth's observation made Spock resolve to show T'Naisa more of the consideration he had vowed.

oooo

The custody ruling came on a humid day in June. Ignoring a fleet of intrusive reporters, Spock entered the New York City courtroom and seated James between T'Naisa and himself at the table where Yong Po waited. A month had passed since the initial hearing, during which the judge had taken testimony, depositions, and evidence.

Spock knew that T'Beth, Aaron, and Simon were seated somewhere behind him, along with a few friends, curiosity seekers, and selected members of the press. Across the aisle, Elizabeth Fielding sat surrounded by high-powered attorneys, her eyes hard and bitter, staring straight ahead.

Spock pitied her. For a time he, too, had sunk into bitterness after the murders. He had some idea of the pain she was experiencing and offered a silent prayer to the Shiav on her behalf. He doubted if she realized the agony she was causing her grandson.

James sat so close that Spock could sense his son's emotions even before James reached over and gripped his hand. At the edge of his vision, Spock saw T'Naisa holding the boy's other hand. Then T'Naisa leaned over, kissed James on the cheek, and whispered something in his ear.

Judge Emily Parker entered the chamber and everyone rose.

She called the courtroom to order and wasted no time getting to the point. Then she said, "Before I announce my ruling on this case, I am extending an invitation to the one party we have not yet publicly heard from. James Skon S'chn T'gai…is there anything you would like to add on your own behalf?"

James whirled in his seat and looked up at Spock, eyes wide open with fear. Spock gave his cold hand a squeeze.

From beside Spock, Yong Po quietly addressed the boy. "James, this is your chance to let everyone know how you feel. It's not too late. It could still sway the judge."

Breathing hard, James glanced across the aisle at the opposition. Slowly he stood.

"Y…yes, your honor," he said in a shaky voice. "There is something I want to say. It's a question, really. Is that okay?"

The judge nodded in an encouraging manner. "Yes, go ahead."

James turned his tear-filled eyes on Mrs. Fielding. "Grandmother, why are you doing this to me? I love my father and I love T'Naisa. Please don't take me away from them."

Mrs. Fielding refused to look at him.

James sank back into his seat and buried his face against Spock. As Spock put an arm around the boy, his thoughts went to Lauren and Teresa, torn from their family so cruelly. Now would he also lose James? He held perfectly still as the judge cleared her throat and began a lengthy preamble to her decision, which at times seemed favorable and at times not favorable.

At last she said, "…therefore I rule in favor of Spock S'chn T'gai, who will retain full parental rights, together with his wife T'Naisa."

James bolted upright in his chair. T'Naisa captured him in her arms and burst into tears. Joyous relief flooded Spock but then he sat, stunned, as the judges words repeated in his mind. _"…full parental rights, together with his wife T'Naisa."_

James belonged to him. _And_ T'Naisa. They equally shared custody. It was an aspect of their arrangement that Spock had never properly considered. Rousing himself, he thanked his young lawyer and prepared to work his way past the press. One of the opposition's finely dressed attorneys approached him.

"Sir," the man said formally, and handed over an official looking printout. "You have in your possession a painting by Marc Chagall. 'The Expulsion from Paradise', loaned by Mrs. Fielding to her daughter. You have two weeks in which to return it or there will be legal action."

Spock sensed Elizabeth Fielding's eyes boring into him. He turned and found her standing a short distance away.

"Mrs. Fielding," he said, remembering the days when he called her Elizabeth.

She ignored him. Her lawyers encircled her as if she needed protection and escorted her out of the courtroom.

Simon and T'Beth had come forward and overheard the entire exchange.

"The nerve!" Simon flared. "Father, that painting is yours. It was a gift, not a loan."

"She knows that," T'Beth said softly.

"What painting?" T'Naisa asked. "I've never seen it, have I?"

"It's butt-ugly," James said. "Mom thought so, too, so Father sent it to a museum."

Spock made a mental note to reproach James about his use of language.

oooo

The day after they returned to Arizona, Spock announced that he was visiting the Phoenix Museum of Art on business. Reluctantly he agreed to take T'Naisa along, for she wanted to see for herself if the priceless Chagall was as unappealing as James asserted. With her along, there was bound to be trouble regarding his plans. If she chose to assert a legal claim to the painting, he would tell her in no uncertain terms that it was his and his alone.

They joined a tour of the exhibits, and though Spock had mentally prepared himself for the event, they came upon the Chagall so suddenly that it took him unawares. The painting had always held a special symbolism in his life with Lauren. Early in their marriage they had separated for a year. During those painful months they sometimes met beneath the Chagall in a museum much like this one. Later, it hung on the wall of their home in San Francisco and somehow survived the Big Quake. During their sojourn in the beach house, Lauren shunted the painting from room to room, threatening to sell it. All through the years, its anguished figures of Adam and Eve seemed to mirror Spock and Lauren in the various stages of their life together.

Overcome by memories, Spock sank down on a viewing bench and stared at it. The tour passed him by and T'Naisa was left standing.

In a flippant tone she said, "It's as ugly as sin—pun intended. To think that legally it's half mine, now…"

 _Like James,_ Spock thought with a spasm of grief. Lowering his head into his hands, he struggled to maintain his thin thread of control.

T'Naisa came to him. He sensed her hand hovering near his shoulder, but she withheld her touch.

Softly she said, "The painting. It reminds you of Lauren, doesn't it? How you must miss her."

Spock made no attempt to speak. Yes, he loved Lauren still and with bitter regret, for in many ways their marriage had fallen short. And now she was gone. It was T'Naisa who stood beside him at the Chagall—a woman who was his wife in name only. For the sake of James, he had entered into a marriage bereft of all caring and intimacy.

James. Yes, he must think of James.

Composing himself, Spock took his hands from his face and stood up. With one final look at the painting, he said, "May it bring Lauren's mother some comfort."

"You're _giving_ it to her?" T'Naisa exclaimed.

Spock swung around, ready to battle. "I am—this very day. And yes, I know it is worth a great deal of money…and that…as my _wife…_ you legally own half interest…" He stopped, for there were tears running down her face.

In an unsteady voice she said, "Oh, of course it's yours. I'd never take _anything_ that belongs to you. If it were possible, I'd even give you the love that Jamie holds for me." She briefly glanced at the painting. "I only meant to say that you're very kind and generous to hand it over without a fight…seeing that it obviously holds such personal meaning."

They were not the words Spock had expected. Until now he had often looked upon T'Naisa as the petty, self-centered child of the past. In the space of a breath his view tilted and he saw her in a very different light. It was like examining a painting from an entirely new angle. Who was this mature, self-sacrificing woman?

"I am sorry," he said sincerely. "I did not mean to make you cry."

Her dark eyes warmed. "I know," she said, wiping away her tears with the back of her hand.

"I am going to the museum office to make arrangements," he informed her. "Continue the tour if you wish."

Her hands came together in a nervous gesture and she asked, "Do you mind…if I accompany you?"

He did not wish to upset her any further, and now that he knew her mind, saw no harm in her attending.

"Very well then, come along," he said. And they walked side by side to the office.

oooOOooo


End file.
